Special Report - Nat on... Assorted observations and musings

We've been to quite a few places on our trip now so I am building up a healthy bank of different topics and issues of which to discuss in my special reports. The Vietnam War, the history of communist rule in Cambodia under Pol Pot, the effects of tourism on ancient monuments and sites, how not to get ripped off when travelling (still a little to learn on this one) - the list goes on. I went through my list and realised that these topics might not be akin to the light hearted tone my readers have become accustomed to (is it ok to assume I have 'readers' after only two posts, I wonder?), so I thought I would focus this post around some random things I have noted along the way.

I love it how airports have perfected the art of referring to international tourists in a truly welcoming manner.

It is not advisable to wear the only nice dress you have packed to go to a ping pong bar in bangkok.

Aaron's hair is really growing now. It looks less like Bill Bailey's hair than I thought it would.

Australian chavs are known as bogans. They display similar characteristics as chavs but have better tans.

If you say 'ear-port', you are in fact saying 'airport' with a kiwi accent. Same goes with saying 'tin', this is actually the word 'ten' in kiwi. I found this out by repeating the word airport in as many sentences I could throughout our stay in Aukland. Needless to say, Aaron was thrilled with this revelation.

If you lie and say you are on your honeymoon in Bali you will NOT get the following extras from your hotel:

- a better room

- a bottle of champagne 

- some delicious fruit/chocolates 

You WILL get the following :

- Wooden salad servers in a presentation box

- a luminous yellow slice of what looked a little like cheesecake which has the word 'congratulations' beautifully inscribed on it. (subsequently smudged somewhat by a cling film wrapping)

- a truly remarkable piece of art, crafted painstakingly with petals. 

Dentists in Aukland don't know what to do when hysterical English girls start crying when they are told they have to have an injection in their gum.

I am more sensitive to dental procedures when I am not in England.

Some couples Ike dressing similarly.

The Japanese can market anything to seek the preservation of youth. Just for the record, I'm not at all bothered with ingesting hyluronic acid, placenta or collagen, but I really do draw the line at glycine. 

Sometimes hotels would rather make up their own message for you rather than pass on one from your friends.....either that or Caroline and Dave have become very formal and have little regard for grammar. 

NEVER take the piss out of anyone for not applying for a visa and then trying to get into Australia when you are just about to enter Australia without applying for a visa.

I may 'glory hole' Aaron's stories, but I found this in the botanical gardens in Sydney. This is when I steal the whole story not just swoop in for the punch line.

People in Aukland have unusual mental issues. 

Sometimes we don't need to know exactly why not to jump for the ferry, poor little stick man.

How many friends would I lose if I bought these? Hey, I'm not buying them!  Look at the title of the post, it's me just my musings, honest. I don't understand them. If you want a flip flop, you wear a flip flop. If you want trainers, wear trainers. Weird. 

Aaron and I have not been annoyed with each other once. Not even a single quarrelsome word has been expelled from our lips.

We have seen some truly beautiful things.